I would consider getting a dog simply for having someone to suck up the crumbs after every meal. Although our in-house ants do a wonderful job, it takes all day.
Seriously, who carpets under a kitchen table?
Indulge in the occassional tipple while pregnant? Believe spanking needs to make a fast and furious comeback? Let your kids lick the beaters after mixing a cake? C'mon and parent like it's 1979.